The Debate of Who Deserves a Gold Star Designation

BY TOM BURKE

My brother Jack was killed in action in the Korean War on January 30, 1951, when I was six years old.

I was hard pressed to understand what had happened. But I began to understand when a flag-draped coffin arrived at my home. A soldier from my brother’s unit escorted Jack home directly from Korea. At my brother’s casket, he rendered a salute with tears running down his face. It was all very scary and confusing. These events are frozen in my mind.

There is nothing that anyone can compare it to and nothing anyone can say unless it happens to them. I wish to be clear, and I certainly acknowledge a death in the family, regardless of circumstance, is devastating. But losing a child to war is different.

All of my brothers served in the military. We understand losing a loved one. We also understand Gold Star Mothers and Gold Star Families who lost a mother, father, son, brother, sister, or any family member while they were serving in the U.S. armed forces. This was the reason for the recognition of the Gold Star during World War I. Someone’s loved one had lost their life while serving in a combat zone, and due respect needed to be shown.

I bring all of this up because VVA received a letter from Robert Apodaca, a USAF veteran and a Gold Star son, notifying us of a recent effort by Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) to expand the definition of Gold Star families.

TAPS is a well-respected organization that serves military survivor families. However, Apodaca and others believe that TAPS is misguided because it wants to change the meaning of “Gold Star Family” to include the families of servicemembers who have died while serving in non-combat situations or who have died after returning from combat from a service-connected injury or illness.

I agree with Apodaca. In my opinion, such a change would dilute the meaning of the Gold Star. While I grieve for the families who lost a veteran on active duty, I believe there is something distinctly traumatic and specific about a death in combat.

“A Gold Star family member is not something any family members wanted to join,” Apodaca wrote. “It is the recognition from a grateful nation of the ultimate sacrifice. The original intent of the Gold Star designation has always been related to those killed in action – war related hostile action, and/or terrorist attack circumstances.”

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